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Text File  |  1992-07-23  |  51KB  |  832 lines
  1. 066010303050000132002006006010000
  2. 11
  3. 21
  4. F0110000001
  5. 9[....◆....◆....◆....◆....◆....◆....◆....◆....◆....◆....◆....◆....◆.]0110
  6. Ç
  7. ëMarieÇ
  8.  
  9. Thewomanyouareabouttomeetisarealperson.Iemphasizethe
  10. secondword--person.Thisstoryisbasedonverbatimnotestaken
  11. duringseveralinterviews,duringwhichsheconsultedtherather
  12. detaileddiariesshe'skeptformostofherlife.Thealterations
  13. areonlytoprotectidentities.Theyoungwomaninthestoryis
  14. extremelyunusual:bright,articulate,thoughtful,maturefar
  15. beyondheryears,poised,analyticalandgiftedwithadiscernible
  16. talentfordescribingpeople,eventsandsituations.We--sheand
  17. I--wouldliketothinkhermemoirswillberevealingand
  18. educational.
  19.  
  20.  
  21. üCHAPTERONEÇ
  22.  
  23. [Thefirsttime?No,Idon'twanttotalkaboutthat.Maybe
  24. later--Idoubtit,though.Butnotnow--[ThefirsttimeIliked
  25. --Oh.Okay.]
  26. IwaslivinginToledo,ontheEastSide.TherewasDad,Mom,
  27. mytwosistersandmytwoyoungerbrothers.Itwasabigoldhouse,
  28. withbrownshinglesidingandalittleyard.Iwas--let'ssee...
  29. ten,byacoupleofmonths.ItwaslateMay.Mybirthdayisin
  30. August.
  31. Iwasalwayssensual--andIdon'tmean"sexual."Ienjoyed
  32. sensualpleasures:thetasteoficecoldpop,thesmelloffresh-
  33. cutrhubarb,theshockoffreshsnowrubbedonmyface,theheatof
  34. thegoodsunbakingintome.Icouldlayforhourssimplyrubbing
  35. thesatinedgingonablanketorclosemyeyesandnearlyfaint
  36. fromtheripesmellofpoppingcorn.
  37. Anyhow,Iwasten-and-a-halfandfinishingthesixthgradeat
  38. St.Corneliusschool.Wedidn'thavemuchmoney,butMomclipped
  39. couponsandDadworkedanextranightjobsoallofuscouldgoto
  40. Catholicschool.Iwasafairstudent--Ihatedtostudy--and
  41. didalright.Butinthespringofmysixth-gradeyear,twothings
  42. happened.
  43. Forone,IdiscoveredIcouldwrite.Itwasanaccident--
  44. serendipityiswhatmyphantomstepbrotherwouldhavecalledit--
  45. becauseIwroteacompositiononassignment.Itwasabout
  46. springtime.AndIhadateacher,SisterJannera,whotalkedtome
  47. aboutit.SherecognizedthatIhadatalentforwordsandshetook
  48. ituponherselftoencouragethis.Ican'tcompletelyconveywhata
  49. remarkablethingitwas.Foronething,Iwasonlyten-and-change;
  50. foranother,Iwasagirl.Thiswas1965inabluecollarsection
  51. ofaso-calledcitynotknownforitssophisticationandshewas
  52. teachinginaCatholicschool--abastionofconservatism.Forher
  53. torecognizemytalentandthenencourageitwasamazing;noother
  54. wordisreallyappropriate.
  55. [Myphantomstepbrother?Oh,okay.MomwasDad'ssecondwife.
  56. Hisfirsthadlefthim--Ithinkhedroveheraway--aboutsix
  57. yearsbefore.Mystepbrother,Dan,was--is,really--fiveyears
  58. olderthanme.He'snotjustsmart;he'sscarysmart.He--Oh,
  59. nevermind.He'salsoverysweetandsexy.Andinhibited,
  60. Çunfortunately.Anyhow,heusedtovisitaboutonceayear,fromNew
  61. York,wherehelivedwithhismom.]
  62. Thesecondthingthathappenedwas--Well,youmayhave
  63. noticedIhavethesetits,hahaha!Istarted,shallwesay,
  64. "developing",whenIwasten--Anyhow,Iwasn'tmuchpastten.By
  65. Mayofthatyear,Ihadnoticeabletits,noticeableevendressedin
  66. mywhitestarchedSt.Corneliusblouseandplaidskirt.Asa
  67. shorterthanaveragesixthgraderwitha"cute"--Ihatedthat
  68. wordeventhen--roundlittleface,theyseemedbiggerthanthey
  69. were.
  70. Oh,sure,I'daskedaboutabra--atthedinnertable,likea
  71. dope.Dadlaughedandsaidthatwithabra,I'dlooklikeI'dbeen
  72. bittenbytwomosquitoes.Sweet,eh?ButbyMay,Ihadgen-u-wine
  73. littletits,notjustmoundsofbabyfat.Irememberusingthe
  74. Searscatalogasaguidetotakemymeasurements.Searsdecreed
  75. thatIneededa25-Acupatten-and-change.Ofcourse,therewasno
  76. suchthingasa25-Abra,justthosestupid--andtoosmall--
  77. trainingbras.Therestofmehadn'tdevelopedyet,whichmademy
  78. boobsmorenoticeable,sinceIhadanineteen-inchwaistand
  79. twenty-four-inchhips.
  80. So,anyhow,everysummer,thechurchheldthiscarnival--
  81. lotsofgamesofchanceand,ofcourse,bingo--asafundraiser
  82. andtherewas--[What?Oh,yeah,that'ssignificantbecausethat's
  83. whenIstartedkeepingadiary.Ajournal,asmyphantom
  84. stepbrotherwouldputit.]
  85. Seguetosummer.Allduringthelastweeksofschoolandthe
  86. firstweeksofsummer,themore'advanced'boyshadbeentryingto
  87. getclosetome--or,moreprecisely,mytits.Sohereitwas,
  88. lateJulyandthepreteentrainingbra--theonlythingIcould
  89. getthatwassmallenoughformybustmeasurement--wasjusta
  90. littletightintheelasticforme,especiallyincasualgarb.If
  91. yourecall,cutofftee-shirtshadbecomepopularinthesummerof
  92. '65.That'ssignificant.
  93. Thecarnivalwasonlyfourstreetsaway,butDadandMomspent
  94. alotoftimethere.DadwasanelectricianandMomwasagreat
  95. littleorganizerandthetowofthemwerealwaysoveratthe
  96. church.Everyonesaidtheywereterrific.Ofcourse,noonethought
  97. toaskthemaboutthekids--[Yeah,itiskindofacheapshot.
  98. There'sareason.]
  99. Anyhow,itwastheThursdaybeforeMemorialDay.Backthen,we
  100. didn'thavethesearrangedthree-dayweekends,MemorialDayfellon
  101. Saturday,soeveryonegotbeatontheholiday.Icouldn'tgettoo
  102. annoyed,though.Wewereinfinalexamsandwhenyoufinishedyour
  103. exam,youwerecutloosefortheday.Ifinishedmylastexamata
  104. quarterpastelevenonThursdaymorning,andafterthat,Iwasfree
  105. toenjoythesudden,midsummer-likeheatwavethathadhitToledo.
  106. AssoonasIgothome,Ichangedintomytwo-piecesuitanda
  107. cutofftee-shirt.Ipulledonapairofloosewhiteshortsand
  108. slippedintomysandals,grabbedmyCoppertone,thenwentdownthe
  109. blocktoLisa'shouse.Wewerebestfriends,eventhoughshewent
  110. toRossfordPublic.Shewasalreadyfinishedwithschoolforthe
  111. summer.Lisahadabigol'Colecoabove-groundpoolintheback
  112. yard,outbehindandtoonesideofthegarage.
  113. [Thetee-shirt?Icouldn'twearthehalterformysuitin
  114. Çpublic;itwastoosmall.Itwasthislittlebitofstretchfabric
  115. andIwouldhavelookedlikeanadvertisementforbabysex.
  116. Besides,itcutintomeandhurt.It'snotlikeIhadreallybig
  117. titsoranything--notlikelater--butontopofmylittle-girl
  118. waistandlittle-girlhips,eventhelittleboobiesIhadwere
  119. reallynoticeable.Theyseemedbiggerthantheyreallywere.
  120. [Look,thesedaysit'snotthatunusualforagirltostart
  121. buddingwhenshe'stenyearsold.In1965,itwasprettyrareand
  122. nobathingsuitcompanyprovidedforit,becausepeoplewouldn't
  123. buythem--theycouldn'tadmitthattheirlittlehoney-piesmight
  124. begrowingfull-sizetitsthatyoung.Andthinkaboutthis:Ifthey
  125. wouldn'tadmittothemselveswhattheycouldseewiththeirown
  126. eyes,howwelldoyouthinktheydealtwithexplainingthefactsof
  127. lifetoaten-year-old,letalonetalkingaboutlove,commitment,
  128. birthcontrolorvenerealdisease?Soin'65,whenyougrewtitsat
  129. ten,youlearnedtheunpleasantway--usually,fromgrubby-
  130. fingeredassholeswhojustwantedtosqueezeaboob.Okay?]
  131. WhenIgottoLisa'shouse,Brenda--heroldersister--was
  132. justonherwayout.Brendawassixteenandhadthisterrific
  133. figureandwasrealprettyandboyswerealwaysafterher